Battlefield

Listening to sad songs tonight.
On regular days the same songs sound pretty and sweet. But by some mysterious means, their identities have changed and tonight their disconsolate notes are just the spillover of my heart. Every line of music reflects the desolation inside.
Layers of the bittersweet, the precious, the painful, the adorable, the complicated, the dreams and the impossible, the stark and the unfair of life all interlaced. At times I soar - high on the glory of the bright moments of life. Other times strength gives out and I sink beneath the painful and irreparably unfair moments of life.
I wait for my head to bob up from the waves. I gasp for air.

But I musn't wait for my head to bob up out of the waves. I must make myself get out of the waves. Somehow.

And then I hear the Words -chiding yet comforting:

"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 
Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:18, 35, 37-39)

And the promise:

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God
is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye
are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that
ye may be able to bear it." (1 Cor. 10:13)

 There's so very, very much I don't understand. The pain is real, the tears are real. I don't know how it will all be fixed, or even if it will all be fixed. I don't know what the next day brings.But I reach for my Savior's hand and firmly holding to it I step across the threshold of the unknown, into the darkness and fog of tomorrow - confident only in His promises. He is faithful.